If Microsoft Built Cars
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* A particular model year of car wouldn't be available until AFTER that year.
* Every time the lines were repainted on the road, you'd have to buy a new car.
* Occasionally your car would just die for no reason. You would just restart it. You would just accept this as normal.
* Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail to restart and you'd have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this, too.
* New seats will force everyone to have the same sized butts.
* You would constantly have to upgrade your car.
* The oil, generator, gas and engine warning lights would be replaced by a "General Car Fault" warning light.
* People would get excited about the "new" features in Microsoft Cars, forgetting completely that they had been available in other brands for years.
* We would still be waiting for the "6000 SUX 58" model to come out.
* We'd all have to switch to Microsoft Gas, and other fluids, but the packaging would be superb.
* Ford, G.M. and Chrysler would all be complaining because Microsoft was putting a surround sound complete stereo system in all it's models.
* There would be no ignition key, just a 'start' button.
* For lack of a better idea, and to prevent anybody from developing a unique identity for their car, all models would simply be dubbed "My Car".
* All the useful previously standard features, such as headlights, accelerator pedal and paint, would come in an optional "Plus" pack.
* People would pay money to test drive a Microsoft Car into a wall so that Microsoft could assess their pre-release cars.
* Car '95 would go down in history as the "Edsel for the 90's".
* The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
* If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.
* They wouldn't build their own engines, but form a cartel with their engine suppliers. The latest engine would have 16 cylinders, multi-point fuel injection and 4 turbos, but it would be a side-valve design so you could use Model-T Ford parts on it.
* There would be an "Engium Pro" with bigger turbos, but it would be slower on most existing roads.
* Microsoft cars would have a special radio/cassette player which would only be able to listen to Microsoft FM, and play Microsoft Cassettes. Unless of course, you buy the upgrade to use exciting stuff.
* Microsoft would do very well, because even though they don't own any roads, all of the road manufacturers would give away Microsoft cars free, including IBM!
* If you still ran old versions of car (ie. CarDOS 6.22/CarWIN 3.11), then you would be called old fashioned, but you would be able to drive much faster, and on more roads!
* If you couldn't afford to buy a new car, then you could just borrow your friends, and then copy it.
* Whenever you bought a car, you would have to rewire the ignition for a few days before it worked.
* You would need to buy an upgrade to run cars on a motorway next to each other.
* Some people would trade their 95's back in for their previous cars.
* Microsoft Rapid Transit would be offered as an alternative, but would be really slow.
* Every car dealership owner would look like Bill Gates.
* Lee Iacocca would be hired-on as Bill Gate's chauffeur.
* Apple Motors would make a car that was solar-powered, twice as reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive and much more comfortable - but it would only run on five percent of the roads, and no one would stock parts for it.
* The Apple Motors car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars which would make their cars go much slower and crash for no apparent reason.
* Steve Jobs would ride a bike
* The U.S. Government would be getting subsidies FROM an automaker, instead of giving them.